December 28, 2008...
ANNUAL NEW YEARS THOUGHTS.

Time clicks by...faster and faster, 
like a cheap watch or the end of a toilet paper roll. 

Misty and I make the same resolutions every year, 
and will do so until we actually live up to them.. 

OUR RESOLUTIONS...

Never stop for a cop who talks with a hand puppet. 
Try not to kill people who offer constructive criticism. 
Never approach a chicken with a crazy look. 
Never try to explain our career to a wino. 
Never yodel at a funeral. 
Never hit a chiropractor without a reason. 
Never wear helmets while skateboarding. 
Always wear helmets during sex. 
Never tango. 
Never carry a rose in our teeth. 
Never carry a rose in any body cavity. 
Never turn our turn signal off. 
Never take Viagra before a business meeting. 
Never buy a pacemaker from a guy in a pickup truck. 
Never glue sequins to a squirrel, except as evening wear. 
Always smile and wave to drivers who give us the finger. 
Always lie about our age, weight, and height. 
Never take the car in for a free inspection. 
Always refer to younger people as "Junior Citizens". 
Never have a hole in your pocket while it is being picked. 
Never yell "Freeze!" in a biker bar. 
Never wear a tutu in a biker bar. 
Never sing "My Way" to an imaginary ferret. 
Never play hip-hop dance music for nudists. 
Never buy an extended warranty. 
Always call people by their first names, 
especially if they refer to themselves as Mister. 
Always play the music we do best... our own. 

LOOKING BACK...

It was another year of contrasts... 
There were some laughs between the troubles.

The election took up most of the year, 
and then the "recession".
"Recession" does sound nicer than "depression".

The wars seem almost forgotten... no longer headline news.
That can't be good.

A lot of bad stuff is waiting for our country in the new year,
but we'll get through it if we work together,
and not against each other.

We made some new friends in 2008, 
and made up with some old ones.
We mourn those who died, 
and celebrate those who were born 

Misty and I are still together, 
and we have a chance at 2009. 

Jack Blanchard 



December 23, 2008...
MERRY CHRISTMAS ANYWAY.

Merry Christmas all you Christians, Jews, Muslims, atheists, rich, poor,
and let's not leave out the fringe weirdos.
Merry Christmas I say, 
to all humans, dogs, cats, and miscellaneous living items.

Christmas has been my favorite holiday my whole life,
and I want to share it with you.
You don't have to buy me anything.

Join me in toasting old Saint Nicholas,
if he will fit in our toaster. (Haha. I get jolly at Christmas.)

Cry with me at the ending of "It's a Wonderful Life".
Let's boo and hiss together at Old Mr. Potter.
We'll get sentimental listening to the Christmas carols at Walmart.
What time is Charlie Brown on?

Let's all pray for snow even if we're in Florida.

Enjoy new times with old friends.
If we don't have any friends, let's make some.
Find somebody who looks down in the dumps,
give them a big smile, and toss them a "Merry Christmas".
If they just look at you funny and walk away, so what?
There are other people waiting to be annoyed with our Christmas glee.

Think about your home town,
and try to recall the good times.
I think about Buffalo this time of year.
Not necessarily the real Buffalo,
but the one that only I remember.
That's where I got all my Christmas spirit to begin with,
shopping downtown... a lost art,
and trimming the scotch pine
with people we loved more than we knew at the time.

I laugh and cry a lot as Christmas approaches.
I even cry at commercials.
I laugh easily at funny remarks, especially mine.
It's embarrassing but I don't much care.
Ten minutes after the joke has slipped into the past,
I think about it and start laughing again.
Everybody tries not to notice,
and the more I try to stifle it, the more I laugh.
Tears come out of my eyes.
Christmas makes me weak.

So, whatever your religion or non-religion is, Merry Dang Christmas!
You don't have to go to church if you don't want to.
I probably won't, but I might watch Midnight Mass on television,
and I'm not even Catholic.
It's all part of the pageantry that is my holiday,
and I plan to eat too much, mellow out, and enjoy the feeling.

Call us on your holiday and we'll join you,
but listen...
What we're saying to you right now is this:
"Merry Christmas to all good people."

Jack Blanchard and Misty Morgan



December 7, 2008...
Speaking of updating, here's a new piece of thought from Jack...

WHAT CHRISTMAS DOES TO ME.

Some of my friends don't like Christmas music. 
I love it. 

I can understand how certain Christmas songs could seem corny 
when analyzed from a critical point of view, 
but they have melody, harmony, and words, 
which is more than a lot of today's popular music. 
Anyway, I love Christmas music for completely different reasons. 

This is the most emotional season of the year, 
and those songs bring back powerful memories, 
both happy and unhappy, 
packed with emotion. 
The ghosts of past Christmases often blur my vision in December.

My mind travels back to Christmas shopping with my parents
on snowy evenings in magical downtown Buffalo.
We didn't need Narnia.
Gentle flurries fell from the dark sky,
steam rose from sidewalk grates,
and complete strangers laughed and spoke friendly greetings to each other.

We stood and marveled at the Christmas displays in the store windows,
our breath frost highlighting our amazement.
One store had a big mechanical Santa that sort of rolled as he laughed.
Ho ho.

My family was a partying bunch... 
each holiday an excuse for all the relatives to get together and have a special time. 
Even my grandparents would dress in outrageous costumes on Halloween, 
and on July 4th's we would drive the neighbors nuts with fireworks. 
New Years Eve meant champagne and "blind robins", and on and on.
I miss those beautiful people, especially during the holidays.

Later in my life I experienced some very rough Christmases, 
some even tragic, 
and also some wonderful times with Misty and the small family we had left. 
Every experience at this time of year is magnified 
and extreme in my memory. 

Hearing the old songs at Christmas makes me happily sad. 
They evoke feelings I don't even understand, 
and yet it's my favorite time of the year. 

My tough guy facade cracks right down the middle, 
and my sentimental guy takes over. 

We caught the last hour of "It's a Wonderful Life" on TV the other night. 
We both sat there like idiots with lumps in our throats and tears in our eyes 
when George Bailey got his life back. 

Christmas makes me weak, I guess. 
A good kind of weakness.

© November 30, 2008 by Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved.
Reprinted by permission of the author.

More to come...




December 6, 2008...
Okay. Ignore all previous announcements on this subject, folks.
Having finally made up their minds, our local library will NOW
be, officially, shutting down for remodelling Dec. 31, 2008
and reopening March 1st (at the earliest. So I still have some
time to update this page before year's end. (Insert sigh of relief
here... how come no-one ever says 'a sigh of Rolaids®'?)

Sorry for the confusion.
Jerry.
(Now deleting previous announcements regarding same...)



November 15, 2008...
(Announcement deleted)

In the meantime, feel free to peruse the rest of our wonderful site
(guestbook not withstanding) and if you still need a Jack and Misty
jolt after you're done, head on over to 
www.myspace.com/jackandmisty for more goodies.

See you when we get this thing fixed.
Jerry.


 
October 3, 2008...
A HOSPITAL MYSTERY.


I'm home from the hospital...at least for now,
thanks to some cool little pain pills.
I'm sitting at my computer, trying to keep my legs moving to prevent blood clots.
This goes against my very nature.
It's been my lifelong practice to never move a muscle
without first thinking it over carefully.
I have no involuntary movements except maybe breathing.


Anyway, here's a weird little episode from a couple of days ago at the hospital:


I was told not to eat or drink anything for twelve hours before checking in.
After checking in there was a six hour delay before my surgery,
and then more hours of no eating or drinking during surgery and after it was over.
I woke up starving and thirsty,
but there was a sign on my room door that said "NPO".
NPO is an abbreviation of the Latin "Non per os" or "Nothing by mouth".
This is like the Catholics calling the Bingo numbers in Latin 
so the Protestants can't win.


I had a new nurse who was friendly enough,
but not the type who would sneak you stuff.
She said I would probably get food and drink soon, 
but not to have anything until she found out for sure..


A few minutes later a tray of beautiful food was wheeled in and presented to me. 
I thought that maybe the nurse had worked it out for me,
but I also thought that it might be a mistake.
I put that out of my mind and began eating.

Just then the nurse walked in and said "Who gave you that food?"
Between gulps I said "Didn't you order it?"
She raised her voice and said" And I gave you specific orders not to eat..."
I started eating faster.


She was getting louder when I noticed a huge cherry cobbler on the far side of the tray,
and went for it.
She yelled and I ate at full speed ahead.
She threw up her hands and stormed out of the room.


Speaking of "threw up", 
later that night I barfed up something that appeared to be extra-terrestrial,
and the whole hospital went into red alert.
They rushed samples of my output to the lab,
and somebody  thought I was poisoned.
Someone else mentioned carbolic acid, and others suspected internal bleeding.


I had a crowd around my bed and staff members running in and out of the room.
Then the news came back from the laboratory:
"No sign of poison, blood or anything harmful."


I guess the lab technicians weren't looking for cherry cobbler.

Jack Blanchard

© October 3, 2008 by Jack Blanchard. Reprinted by permission.

Welcome back, Jack!!
Jerry




September 27, 2008...

Hi Gang.

A friend of ours, Moragh Carter, visited us from England a couple of months ago.
She took some snapshots at our house one afternoon.
We never knew when the camera was going to click,
but this one of Misty turned out so nice
I wanted to share it with you.

    Jack

Misty, July 2008.





September 23, 2008...
Hi again, again. As promised, here's Jack's two latest missives,
too new to even post in the columns section. (Translation: I'm
rushed for time.) Enjoy...

CONCERNING THE 700 BILLION DOLLAR WALL STREET BAILOUT.

The top execs of the firms that caused this mess are scurrying off into the sunset, 
carrying their bags full of ill-gotten money... 
billions of dollars from their enormous bonuses and golden parachutes,
which they never earned. 

Shouldn't they be made to give the money back as part of the bailout? 
Shouldn't there be conditions to the bailout, 
such as regulations 
to prevent them from doing the same damn thing again? 

And why not a bailout for the middle class who are the ones in real trouble? 

Get the money from the crooks. 
They can sit on their yachts and sulk
© Sept. 22, 2008 by Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission.



IN THE STUDIO.

A couple of years ago I wrote a series of articles
about things we've learned about recording over the past four or so decades.
The articles received more attention and favorable comments that expected,
and a number of requests to publish them again...
but this time I've condensed them to one writing,
out of respect for folks who couldn't care less about this stuff.

We'll return to our usual hilarity in the next issue. JB.


THE RECORDING SESSION. 

In Rock it doesn’t seem to matter so much, 
but in Country we want to hear the words. 
I hear too many recordings where the lyrics are lost. 

If the words aren’t audible there are several possible culprits. 
The singer may not be making them clear, 
or the producer and engineer aren’t recording them right. 

Sometimes the singer tries too hard to sound Southern or Country, 
and it comes out slurred and run together. 

Here’s a trick to get rid of Singer’s Lockjaw: 
Pretend you’re singing to a deaf person who is reading your lips. 

When Misty and I record vocalists (ourselves and other artists) 
we use a soft-knee compressor on the mike and maybe later in the mixdown. 
The compressor brings out the low notes, the soft words, 
and the nuances that give an artist identity.
The compressor should be set conservatively at 2.5:1 or less. 
The compressor itself should be inaudible. 

We try to get backup lead instruments to play in the cracks between the singer’s phrases, 
not during, 
and we try not to have too much going on in the singer’s frequency range. 

Misty and I find it helpful to analyze the lyrics beforehand, 
marking on lyric sheets where we want to take breaths, 
and which words we want to punch. 

If a song is good enough to record the lyrics should be heard. 

Each of us has different methods and tastes. 
I’m sharing ours just in case it may help somebody. 

THE MIXDOWN 

I've listened to tips from well known producers and engineers 
on getting recordings to sound good. 

I used to tune my studio speakers by putting white noise through them, 
and holding up a microphone connected to a frequency analyzer. 
The analyzer would show red and green lights 
indicating which sound frequencies were too soft or too loud. 
I would then use a graphic equalizer to make them all even, or "flat". 

I told my method to a famous producer/studio owner in Nashville 
and he said it was wrong. 

He said to this: 
Hang your speakers, 
and then sit down for a week or so 
and just listen to big hit major label recordings through them, 
adjusting the tone controls until they sounded best.
Then mix your recordings to sound as good as the proven hits 
on the same speakers. 

Also, I learned somewhere along the line 
to place my near-field monitor speakers 
so that my head is the third point of a perfect triangle. 
If the speakers are too close I will hear too much stereo spread, 
and not enough of the middle. 
If they are too far away I don't get enough stereo, 
and I start to get distracting room ambient sounds. 

I learned to be very conservative with EQ, 
which means adjusting the tone to you folks at home. 

THE MASTERING. 

So, you've got a great mix...is your music ready for the world? 
Not yet. It can still be a lot better. 
Send it to a good mastering studio and hear what you've been missing. 
It will knock your hosiery off! 

About "presence"... 
Sometimes the voice needs presence, or edge. 
To add vocal presence we boost the frequency slightly at 2 kHz, 
and maybe a touch at 4 kHz. 
Too much presence can make the voice brassy and thin. 
A little can make it sound good and bring out the lyrics. 

Enhancers like Aphex and BBE can help with general clarity, 
and instrument/vocal separation, 
but they can be overdone, if we’re not careful. 

The bass drum (kicker) has two separate frequencies... 
the low part and the higher tap of the pedal on the head. 
The bottom sound should not go below 40 Hz unless you're doing hip-hop. 
I cut off all sound below 40 Hz because it takes up a bunch of air space 
better used by the rest of the music. 
Also, many stereo systems have trouble reproducing sounds that low. 
The tap of the pedal is much higher, 
up in the mid-range area, where most of your "presence" is found. 

If the String bass is at a  very low frequency in the mix, 
I make the bass drum higher, and vice versa. 

About "punch"... 
Punch just means how the audience feels the beat, 
and that depends upon how far the speaker cone moves back and forth 
to push the sound out. 
Some mastering engineers like to use compressors to get maximum volume. 
This holds down the loud sounds, and brings up the quieter ones. 
Everything gets loud, but the speakers don't move very far. 

I prefer to use a hard limiter. 
This leaves the bass and drum peaks loud, 
just clipping off the tips of the peaks to even them up. 
It makes the speakers punch out the beat, and the listeners feel it. 

Music lovers go out and buy equipment for low bass and high treble, 
but most humans can't hear sounds higher than about 16 kHz, 
and bass below 40 Hz is a muddy rumble, 
and interferes with the clarity of the recording.. 

The human ear hears mid-range best. 
Recordings with more mid-range sound louder, 
even though they don't move the needle on the meter. 
It's called "apparent loudness" and was used a lot on vinyl singles 
to get the music to jump out of the car radio. 
Too much mid-range sounds tinny. 
It takes a good experienced ear to get it just right. 

There are hundreds of useful effects available today, 
which, when used properly, can enhance the sound of your music. 

SUMMING UP: 
I've also learned that you can get a hit record without knowing any of this.
©Sept. 21, 2008 by Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved. reprinted by permission.



September 22, 2008...
To all our wonderful friends 
who emailed and called when I was in the hospital...

I truly wish I could answer every one of your emails personally at this time,
but I'm not quite up to par yet,
and I can't spend too much time on the computer.

Even thought I feel much better now,
I tire easily... probably from the 14 days in a hospital bed.

I'm going in for another cat scan Thursday.
I don't know why. My cat is perfectly healthy. :)

Anyway, this is my first real sickness ever,
and I can't wait to get back to normal,
or whatever passes for normal in my case.

I'll keep you posted,
and again, my sincere thanks for your thoughts and prayers.
It means a lot to Misty and me.

Your friend,
    Jack Blanchard


Hi again, folks, Jerry here. We'll have Jack's latest missives
up and running tomorrow, promise. In the meantime, here's some
old news of recent vintage...

September 21, 2008...
Hi folks, YFNW™ Jerry here with some exciting news... at long last,
Velvet Saw Records has A LOGO!!! Designed by yours truly,
no less! And here it is:



Not bad for a guy with no graphics training whatsoever, huh? (Yeah, I
know it looks a little rough around the edges, but there's nothing I
can do about that.) Look for the little yellow moon & shadow to pop up
soon... somewhere.

More to come.
Jerry



September 5, 2008...
JACK IS BACK!!!

SORRY I HAVEN'T WRITTEN.

Hi everybody.

I'm alive! Yayy!
I wasn't sure for a while there.

I got home last night from two weeks in stir... I mean the hospital,
and I'm working on getting my strength back.
I couldn't do any walking during these fourteen days
because they hooked to two IV pumps, several cash registers,
and a slot machine.

My only recreation was sending back food.
I've since realized that it wasn't so much their bad food
as it was that my taste sense is off.
Milk right out of the bottle tastes like fish.
The only foods that taste right are spicy dishes.

It all started with the gall bladder (the ugliest phrase in the English language)
and spread to my liver and pancreas.
I was as yellow as Homer Simpson.

I'm sort of on leave from the hospital,
and have to return in about ten days for some surgery.
The good news is that I'm not kicking the metal container.

Thanks to all of you who have called and emailed us
asking about my condition.
It's good to have friends.

More later.
Right now I have to take a pill the size of an Easter Egg.

Jack Blanchard 
(Sept. 4, 2008)

Welcome back, Jack! We missed ya.

Jerry



August 29, 2008...
Hi again, folks. We got good news yesterday from our favorite
correspondent Moragh Carter. Here 'tis...

Hi All
Jack had successful surgery today to remove several gallstones.
He says that the doctors will allow him home in a couple of days
all being well. He will however have to be re-admitted .... next
week probably .... as there is one more gallstone they couldn't
get out today. He is a bit sore from where they put the tubes down
his throat into his stomach to reach the gallstones, but is otherwise
OK .... but weary. He should be allowed to start eating a bit tomorrow
after nothing all week .... apart from an intravenous drip.
I'll keep you posted with any further developments as I get news of them.

Moragh

Thanks for the updates, Moragh. (And all of us here in the Birdwalk Nation
breathe one huge WHEW!! Get well soon, Jack!)

Jerry



August 26, 2008...
Hi again, folks. We have an update from our pal Moragh...

Hi All

Just to give you the latest news on Jack's progress. Misty told me earlier
today that following a MRI they have now made a diagnosis .... gall stones.
They are planning to operate tomorrow. We wish them well and look forward
to Jack's speedy recovery.

Moragh

Thanks for the update, Moragh! (Boy, what would webmeisters do without The
Legions Of Fans?™) Get well and come back soon, Jack!!

Jerry



August 23, 2008
Hi, folks. I just got this email from our pal Moragh Carter, which
I reprint as is...

Hi Jerry

I don't know if anyone else has contacted you but in case you hadn't
heard .... Jack Blanchard is in hospital just now.

He is awaiting further tests to find out what is causing his symptoms 
.... but at least he is in the dry with all the rain they have had in 
Florida. He's not sure how long he is going to be in the hospital .... 
but he will no doubt contact everyone once he has access to a computer 
again. 

He asked me to let people know as Misty can't use a computer. 
She is up at the hospital with him much of the time anyway. 

I can't tell you much more just now .... but a notice on his website 
letting people know why they are not getting replies to e-mails would 
be helpful. There may also be people wondering why they haven't received 
CDs they've ordered. 

It might also be a good idea to ask people not to e-mail him at 
present. He can't read or answer his e-mails till he has access to a 
computer again and it is only going to needlessly fill up his inxbox. 

I will keep you posted with any further news about Jack when there is 
more I can tell you. 

I hope you are keeping well just now. 

Best wishes 

Moragh

Thanks for the heads-up, Moragh. We'll keep our fingers crossed and
send our prayers out Jack and Misty's way.

Jerry.



August 11, 2008...
Hey there! Jack's put together a new video for "Somewhere In
Virginia In The Rain" and you can see it first on YouTube if
you go here right now:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeOx9uc4BVE

Enjoy, and then hurry back! The website'll be lonely without you, you know?

YFNW™, Jerry




July 29, 2008...
Hi gang.

We just found this video from a TV show we did in Nashville in 1973.

Click here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=IxNHrtV1F6k 
You can view it in high or lower quality according to your internet connection.

Love,
	Jack & Misty



July 22, 2008...
Continuing in our 'Just when you thought it couldn't
get weirder' department, Uncle Goopy puts in an appearance
telling us all how it was "Back In My Day".
You've been warned. (chuckle.)

More to come soon.
YFNW™, Jerry




July 17, 2008...
And now, a message about today's column from Jack...

SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

Today's column "THE TEAR" is for listening rather than the usual reading.
We're considering an audio book in which I read some of our favorite original stories.
This is a test.

To hear this true story "THE TEAR" just click one of these links:
HI-fi URL for faster connections: http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=6727546&q=hi
or...
LO-fi URL for dial-up connections.: http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=6727546&q=lo

Thanks for listening. I hope you enjoy it.

Jack Blanchard



July 15, 2008...
Just when you thought things couldn't get sillier, we have a
new song from Jack! Or is it a column? Well, actually, it's
both. It's called "I'm Thin And I'm Rich And I'm Tall 
(a short song about power)" and you can just click
on the title to check it out. Enjoy.

More to come soon.
Jerry



June 20, 2008...
It's the first day of summer, and to celebrate, we'd like to
welcome a new friend to the honored ranks of FOJAM (Friends
Of Jack And Misty)... The Voice of the Mountains, Mike Rowe!
You'll find his website at www.mikerowe.oldworld.com
and his radio site at www.kwes.net.
Welcome aboard, Mike!

Oh, before I forget, recently I had trouble with the audio link to the
new Jack & Misty single "There Must Be More To Life (Than Growing Old)".
Thanks to Jack (and our friends at Soundclick), that has now been remedied.
(But then, if you got here through the front page, you knew that, right?)

Have a great summer, folks.
More to come.
YFNW™, Jerry.



June 12, 2008...
Here's an oldie but a goodie from Chairman Jack. Enjoy:

FRIDAY, THE 13TH: THE OLD MAN.


I woke up old this morning. 

I don't mean that metaphorically, 
or figuratively, 
or any of that. 

It's just a fact: 
I went to bed young and woke up old. 
As I write this it is Thursday, the 12th. 

Yesterday, on Wednesday the 11th, 
I was a strong young man with big dreams and ambitions. 
It all went by in a day! 

The day before yesterday was Tuesday the 10th, 
and I was a child. 
I looked at the powdery stuff on flowers, 
the veins in a leaf, 
paint blisters and bent nails in a fence. 
I could follow a particular ant all around the yard. 

By Wednesday I was grown up. 
The sounds and smells, 
and the touch of things 
seemed less important. 
Wet sidewalks, 
the outdoor faucet where the hose connects, 
crumbly earth, 
tools in the garage, 
still had their distinctive aromas, 
but I didn't notice. 

I was too busy to listen to distant traffic. 
I had even stopped lying on my back 
and looking for faces in the clouds. 

Wednesday was all adult "reality": 
Money, status, success, entertainment... 
The important stuff. 
I had to learn fast, having only three days, and no warnings, 
or time to prepare for the big changes. 

I dreamed that I got up out of this wheelchair 
and ran right out across that field! 
But here it is Thursday, 
I'm old, and can barely get around. 

I don't like being called a Senior Citizen. 
It's a euphemism. 
It's condescending, like calling a black person "colored". 
Don't cushion it, my friend. I'm OLD. 

I leave my turn signal on because I can't hear it, 
not because I'm senile. 
And at this age, I eat my dessert first. 
You never know. 

I'll tell you what... 
Today I'm going to sit here on my ancient tailbone 
and listen to squirrel talk. 
If you listen a while to their sounds 
you'll see they have a language of nuances. 

I'm going to enjoy the warmth of this old wool sweater, 
and pay attention to that leaf blowing across the lot. 
I don't know when, 
or if, 
I'll get to do it again. 

Time is on Fast Forward, 
so I offer this advice to all who pass this way: 
PAY ATTENTION! 
LIFE IS IN THE DETAILS. 

And, tomorrow is Friday, the 13th.

Jack Blanchard 

© 2008.



June 1, 2008...
Hi again, friends. Jerry here letting you know about the biggest expansion
on our site in almost a year... (drum roll, please...)

WE'VE PASSED THE 100 LYRICS MARK!!!

Yes, to celebrate the release of "NASHVILLE SPUTNIK: The Deep South/Outer
Space Productions of Jack Blanchard and Misty Morgan 1956-2004", I've added
13 lyrics to the lyrics page, which brings the total to 106! (Thank goodness
for nights off.) Go to the lyric page and enjoy. (Trust me... you'll have
absolutely no trouble finding them.)

More to come soon.
YFNW™, Jerry.


May 24, 2008...
Hey there, everybody. YFNW™ Jerry on behalf of all of us hard-working
types at the best nest in the west (or anywhere), hoping you all have
a safe 3-day weekend, and (a reminder I can't stress often enough) if
you see a veteran... thank them. Enjoy your Memorial Day, and I'll see
you again next week. In the meantime, here's some thoughts on the
subject from Jack...

FOR MEMORIAL DAY.

I subscribe to a couple of history groups 
and I’ve seen some comments by younger people about World War Two. 
They go along this line: 
“People back then were suckers 
to let the government get away with rationing things.” 
“I would have been in a protest line.” 
”Drafting people into the armed services... How awful!” 

They are appalled to hear that you couldn't get butter, 
or rubber tires, or nylon hosiery, etc., 
and that the buses had plywood stand/sit seats 
to carry more workers to defense plants. 

At first I thought they were idiots, 
and I’m still not sure, 
but I've come to accept this: 
People who weren't actually there during WW2 
have no real 3-D concept of the time.
World War Two: You had to be there..


I was just a kid, 
but I can tell you that you wouldn't have been in a protest line. 
They didn't have protest lines. 

WW 2 was not a police action or a "preemptive" strike 
as you've seen in your lifetime. 
It was a giant classic war between good and evil... 
like a video game, 
but with real torture and death. 

Maniacs were committing genocide 
and trying to take over the world. 
Our country and way of life were in real danger. 
It wasn't a matter for political discussion. 

The wartime mindset didn't allow for gray areas. 
You were a patriot or a traitor 
because your neighbors' kids were being slaughtered 
to defend freedom. 
You could see the stars hanging in the windows 
of the families who had lost a son or daughter. 
Sometimes more than one star. 

I can understand how all this could sound corny 
to those who have never experienced anything remotely like it. 

It's like trying to describe your hair color to a blind man. 
He can learn the words, 
but he can't get the picture. 

People WANTED to do what they could for the war effort. 
they sacrificed because it was right, 
and they wanted the damn thing to be over. 

This kind of mass effort and spirit of unity 
is what has left a country 
where we can join protest lines, 
ride buses with cushioned seats 
and buy all the butter and gasoline we can afford. 

I've been against virtually every war since, 
so, I'm not a hawk. 
Just trying to tell it like it was. 

You had to be there. 

Jack Blanchard, May 23, 2008.



May 23, 2008...

SEE ANYBODY YOU KNOW?
May 23
Birthdays 

Friedrich Anton Mesmer 1734 
Margaret Fuller 1810 
Arabella Mansfield 1846 
Douglas Fairbanks 1883 
Herbert Marshall 1890 
Artie Shaw 1910 
Scatman Crothers 1910 
John Payne 1912 
Betty Garrett 1919 
Helen O'Connell 1920 
Alicia de Larrocha 1923 
Mac Wiseman 1925 
Nigel Davenport 1928 
Rosemary Clooney 1928 
Julian Euell 1929 
Barbara Barrie 1931 
Joan Collins 1933 
Robert Moog 1934 
Charles Kimbrough 1936 
General Johnson (Chairmen of the Board) 1943 
Lauren Chapin 1945 
Misty Morgan 1945 
Judy Rodman 1951 
Anatoly Karpov 1951 
"Marvelous" Marvin Hagler 1952 
Luka Bloom 1955 
Drew Carey 1958 
Shelley West 1958 
Linden Ashby 1960 
Karen Duffy 1961 
Phil Selway (Radiohead) 1967 
Noel Gallagher (Oasis) 1968 
Lorenzo 1972 
Maxwell 1973 
Jewel 1974 
Adam Wylie 1984 

Happy Birthday, Honey.
All my love,
    Jack




May 22, 2008...
We interrupt this website for an important announcement...


NASHVILLE SPUTNIK HAS LANDED!



30 TRACKS. 28 page full color booklet. All cd's autographed.
Order here: https://birdwalk1.tripod.com/jandmorder.htm
Or here: http://elvinsystems.com/jm/catalog.htm 


EARLY REVIEWS:

    Jack Blanchard and Misty Morgan will forever be remembered for the novel pathos of hits like
Tennessee Birdwalk and Somewhere In Virginia In The Rain. But before the bright lights of
stardom found them Jack and Misty were busy working underground, writing and producing superb
cuts for a fascinating cast of characters and talents who are today, unjustly, largely forgotten.
    Hear Jacqueline Hyde And The Moonfolk take a rocket ship into outer (and inner) space,
Rusty Diamond have an existential moment on the battle-front, Brad Wolfe 
investigate reincarnation and Joel Mathis evaporate into the past on his Time Machine 
amidst a carnival of other sonic wonders.
Once heard this disc will inspire sounds you've never heard before
and thoughts you never thought before.
    Remastered with exclusive liner notes and many previously unreleased tracks all cuts make their 
definitive first appearance on CD here.
    It's kind-a-country, kind-a-pop, kind-a-weird - so strap in... another world awaits!
    David Thrussell, Omni Recording Corporation 

A wild collection of extraterrestrial country, pulp, pop, r&b and even some doo wop influenced tunes from the
outerspace fringes of 60s & 70s Nashville & beyond -- largely from the brain bananas of Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan!
We knew that Jack & Misty recorded some fairly far out country gems as a duo -- but this crazy set really opens our minds
to how wild they were as writers, producers & arrangers! It truly rivals Joe Meek's productions when it comes to pulpy
themes and unpredictable stylistic range -- while carrying a weird, earthier rustic & rural groove. Jack & Misty sing and play
often throughout, as themselves and under pseudonyms -- and they recruited friends and peers as singers and players for the others.
Far more than just an exercise in strangeness -- the songs are good enough to stand out as more than novelties, and some of the most
respected Nashville session players of the past half century can be found in the notes. You get electrified banjo, sax, and organ
in the same wild tunes -- any questions? The majority of songs were cut between the fertile period between 1965 and 1974 --
with a few going back earlier & later -- a whopping 30 tracks in all! "Strange New World" by Jacqueline Hyde & The Moonfolk,
"Time Machine" by Joel Mathis, "Skellykins" by Rusty Diamond, "I'm Hung Up On You" by Rusty Diamond, "Hit Me One More Time"
by Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan, "Let's Have A Hayride" by Maryanne Mail, "New World" by The Jack Blanchard Group, "Monkey See, Monkey Do"
by Brad Wolfe, "Dance Of The Living Dead Chickens" by Jack Blanchard, and more!  
© 2008, Dusty Groove America, Inc.


SONGLIST.
(Note: Misty Morgan is also Jacqueline Hyde and Maryanne Mail.)

1.   Strange New World* - Jacqueline Hyde & The Moonfolk (1965) (2:25)2. 
2.   The Lonely Sentry* - Rusty Diamond with guest star Maryanne Mail+ (1965) (2:54)
3.   We Walked This Road Before - Brad Wolfe (1971) (3:05)
4.   Time Machine - Joel Mathis+ (1971) (2:24)
5.   Skellykins - Rusty Diamond (1966) (2:04)
6.   Yellow Bellied Sap Sucker - Hank Malcolm (1972) (2:12)
7.   Gemini* (instrumental) - The Jack Blanchard Group (1965) (1:47)
8.   Lonely Bell - Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan (1967) (2:20)
9.   Mary Turn Around - Hank Malcolm (1965) (2:36)
10. Changin' Times - Brad Wolfe (1972) (3:42)
11. I'm Hung Up On You - Rusty Diamond, the Country Nut (1965) (2:28) 
12. Boy With The Be-Bop Glasses (And The Suede Shoes) - The Dawn Breakers (1958) (2:39)
13. Hit Me One More Time - Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan+ (1967) (2:46)
14. Let's Have A Hayride* - Maryanne Mail (1965) (1:24)
15. Cadillac - Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan (1968) (2:34)
16. Little Orphan Annie - Joel Mathis (1971) (2:23)
17. Midnight Greyhound - Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan (1967) (2:20)
18. Here Today, Gone Tomorrow - Donel Austin+ (1973) (2:56)
19. New World* (instrumental) - The Jack Blanchard Group (1965) (2:07)
20. Runaway* - Jacqueline Hyde and the Moonfolk (1965) (1:37)
21. The King Of Hearts - Jackie Blanchard & The Rockin' Impallas (1960) (2:00)
22. Journey's End - Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan+ (1967) (2:44)
23. Monkey See Monkey Do - Hank Malcolm (1972) (2:50)
24. The Love Habit - Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan+ (1973) (2:38)
25. I'm Feelin' A Change In My Life** - Donel Austin+ (1973) (3:22)
26. The Look Of Nothing - Tom Carlile+ (1974) (3:08)
27. Somewhere In Virginia In The Rain (Disco Version) - Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan+ (1974) (2:56)
28. Don't It Look Like Georgia*** - Tom Carlile+ (1974) (3:31)
29. Dance Of The Living Dead Chickens (Demo) - Jack Blanchard+ (1993) (2:05)
30. A Weird Little Christmas - Jack Blanchard+ (2004) (3:16) 


PERSONNEL:
Billy Sanford, Lloyd Green, Hargus Robbins, Bobby Thompson, Henry Stzrelecki,
Larrie Londin, Charlie McCoy, Music City Recorders, Starday Studios, Jerry Shook,  
Pete Drake, Tommy Hill, Jerry Smith,  Junior Huskey, Willy Ackerman, The Hardin Trio,  
Hank Malcolm,  Mercury Studios, Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan,  Woodland Studios, 
Don Tweedy, Kelso Hurston, The Anita Kerr Singers, Ray King, Manon's Dream, 
The Dawn Breakers:Jack Blanchard, Don Fronczak, Jim Warne, and Buddy Baker.
Donel Austin, The Leah Jane Singers,The Jack Blanchard Group, The Rockin’ Impallas, 
Frank Linale, Frank Kennedy, Angie Gillette, The Sensational Dellos, Roger Clark, 
Kenny Bell, Skip Rogers, Chip Young, Tom Carlile,  The Muscle Shoals Singers, 
Dale Sellars, Johnny Gimble, Buddy Spicher, The Nashville Edition, 
Jacqueline Hyde and the Moonfolk, Steve Fenner, Criteria Studios, Miami, 
Doug Tarrant as Doug Wayne, John Abate, Ronny Caban, Jackie Raye, Joel Mathis, 
Rusty Diamond, Maryanne Mail, Henry Cook, Paul McLaughlin, Brad Wolfe.

At the moment, they only have 20 copies, so supplies are limited, but Jack and
Misty hope to get more soon. So, if you want bragging rights (plus one far-out
album, even by Jack and Misty standards!), order NOW! $22.95 + S&H. (See our
friendly order form.)

We now return control of the website to the regular squirrels...



May 21, 2008...
Hi, folks. YFNW™ Jerry here again with a bit of an update - and a correction.
The price on the new CD "NASHVILLE SPUTNIK: The Deep South/Outer Space
Productions of Jack Blanchard and Misty Morgan 1956-2004" is $22.95 (plus
shipping and handling), not $18.95 as previously reported on our order form
(and possibly elsewhere). Every copy will be autographed by Jack and Misty!
Sorry for the mistake. More to come soon... (I just realized how that sounds...)



May 18, 2008...
Hi again, folks. Well, there's been a lot of catching up to do around the
site, so let's get to it. First, as you may have noticed on our front page,
we've now added a "Contact Us!" button. Second, there'a a (relatively) new
column from Jack, dealing with things from "A Writer's Perspective".
(Including, but not limited to, a photo of Jack in a tree.)
Finally, the new Omni collection "NASHVILLE SPUTNIK: The Deep South/Outer Space
Productions of Jack Blanchard and Misty Morgan 1956-2004" has been added to
the "Albums At A Glance" section of the Discology (How on earth did I miss
that before now?). Once you get there, click on the album cover to read
more liner notes than you can possibly take in in an afternoon (or whenever
you happen to be reading this).

More to come soon...



May 10, 2008...
Well, it's finally happened. Eight years on the net, and NOW we present
our first VIDEO!! Enjoy...



(Let us know if it works...)

In other news, look shortly for "NASHVILLE SPUTNIK: The Deep South/Outer Space
Productions of Jack Blanchard and Misty Morgan 1956-2004" to appear on
our order form. Very shortly...



May 4, 2008...
It's me again. How's this for a birthday present? Jack just informed me
that this week, "NASHVILLE SPUTNIK: The Deep South/Outer Space Productions
of Jack Blanchard and Misty Morgan 1956-2004" will be available from this
very site! (I can't wait to edit the order form! [grin]) Thanks for the
heads up, Jack!

More to come...



May 3, 2008...
Hey there, folks. Well, as you may have already noticed by the calender, it's
that time of year again: BIRTHDAY MONTH!! Not only do Jack and Misty have
them, but so do we. It's been eight years since I started this li'l enterprise
as a simple discography (or Discology, as Jack calls it), and look how far
we've all come since! Go on, look. We'll wait.

Okay. Now that you've looked, have a look at Jack's newest column. The title
kind of speaks for itself: "Why I Never Got A Pickup Truck".
In just a few more days, the new Omni CD, "Nashville Sputnik: The Deep South/
Outer Space Productions of Jack Blanchard and Misty Morgan 1956-2004" comes in
for a splashdown. If I remember correctly, (and forgive me for being terribly
lax in announcing this!) you can order it now at places like amazon.com, 
Target, and City Hall Records. (IF I remember correctly...)

And remember, Jack and Misty's alternate nest on the web is at www.myspace.com/jackandmisty,
where you can always find more columns, pictures, and the latest batch of six
songs for your listening pleasure.

Well, I don't know about you, but I'm gonna have a slice of birthday cake this
month, and all month. I suggest you do the same.

More to come, Jerry.
(YFNW™ since May 2000!)



April 24, 2008...
Hi everybody.

My sister Val just called to tell us that her husband Walt is in critical condition,
after falling from a roof.
Val asked us to send a request to all our friends for prayers for him.
His name is Walter Malec, and he is in Orlando Regional Medical Center.

Thank you so much.

	Jack & Misty



April 19, 2008...
Hey there. YFNW™ Jerry here. Jack has a new column about dreams and
musicians and the like. It's called "A Musician's Dream World", and you
can read all about it by clicking on that title.
And remember, if I'm not nagging too much, you can always check up
on Jack and Misty's doings away from here by visiting their myspace
site at www.myspace.com/jackandmisty.
The latest pack of songs, columns, pictures and the usual stuff from
our heroes. Can't beat it with a stick. You might break that monitor.

More to come. See you next week.
Jerry



April 14, 2008...
Yes folks, it's that time of year again... Boo. To ease the nausea
of filling out those forms, we bring you a couple of the latest
non-taxing missives from Chairman Jack.
One from March that we managed to miss concerns itself with, of all
things, forgotten celebrities: "Mister X".
And bringing us up to speed, oddly enough, a rumination on time and
stuff called "Fast Forward".

Okay. Time for a slight correction here. The actual release date for
the next great Omni collection, "Nashville Sputnik - The Deep South/
Outer Space Productions of Jack Blanchard and Misty Morgan 1956-2004" is
May 20th. (Apologies for jumpin' the gun. You know how we webmeisters get
when it's new CD release time.)

And speaking of May... that's right... it's going to be our 8th Birthday
Month (all year)! Not only that, it's also Jack and Misty's birthdays as
well! And, of course, the release month for that new CD I just mentioned.
(David Thrusell - we love you, but can't you come up with a shorter title
for these things next time? :) ) [Boy, I hope I can remember all that!]

Well, that's it for now. Have fun testing the laws of physics by throwing
your cell phone through a brick wall [tax time does that to folks, you know]
and we'll see you soon.

Enjoy
YFNW™, Jerry



March 15, 2008...
Yes, folks, it's that time of year again, the dreaded Ides of March
Madness, and you know what that means... it's the webmeister's
birthdays! Another year of outliving our enemies [grin]... ahem...
and to celebrate, we have a new column from Jack in which he pays
tribute to all those unsung folks who helped make him and Misty sound
terrific... "The Studio Musicians".
(We're not at liberty to say how old we are... but we were born on the
exact same day that The Chords recorded "Sh-Boom"... generally acknowledged
(by General Lee) as the first doo-wop single. Why we should care that
the Dukes of Hazzard's car would even consider it is beyond me.)

Anyway, enjoy your weekend, and we'll have more soon.
YFNW™, Jerry.
(Sh-Boom, Sh-Boom, yadadadadada yadadadadada...)



March 6, 2008...
Well folks, politics may make for strange bedfellows, but it also makes
for interesting observations from Chairman Jack. For evidence, here's
his latest observation: "Friends Talk Politics".

In other news, we're still keeping out chipmunk-powered telescope trained
to the skies over Australia for word of the splashdown of satellite OMNI-115,
informally referred to music scientists as "NASHVILLE SPUTNIK - The Deep Space/
Outer Space Productions of Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan 1956-2004". We'll let
you know the minute we sight it.
And of course, for more Jack and Misty news, music, columns and stuff, check
out their year-round second nest at www.myspace.com/jackandmisty
Always open, always entertaining.

More to come
YFNW™, Jerry.



February 19, 2008...
Hi again, sports fans! Well, the waiting is over... here's your first
look at the new NASHVILLE SPUTNIK album!



I'm busy updating all the album files as I speak... er, type... so please
be patient while I work out the kinks (or any other British Invasion
group). More to come shortly.

Part 2...

As I already noted, I'm having a bit of trouble updating all the album
files, so some of the links (especially to "Weird Scenes Inside The
Birdhouse") might not work yet. Again, please be patient. Also, most of
the lyric links to Nashville Sputnik are inoperative (a word we haven't
heard since the Watergate era). To avoid frustration, just don't click
them until I can get it reloaded tomorrow.

And people think running a website is easy. [insert devilish grin here!]

See you tomorrow!
Jerry.



February 15, 2008...
Hey again, fellow travelers. At last, it can finally be revealed!
"What?" you may ask, and well you might. The title and tracklist of
the [gasp!] THIRD(!) dazzling import collection from
our Australian compadres over at The Omni Recording Corporation...
"NASHVILLE SPUTNIK: The Deep South/Outer Space Productions of
Jack Blanchard and Misty Morgan"! Before they hit the big time with "Tennessee
Birdwalk," Jack and Misty put in a lot of time (and we do mean a
LOT!) honing their craft and sowing the seeds of what we now know
as Jack and Misty music. This compilation gathers the best of those pre-
Birdwalk recordings, dating all the way back to 1956 and Jack's first
single on Coral with The Dawn Breakers, and beyond (a Jack and Misty
disco record? It's not only within the realm of probability... it's
on here!). In other words... the only thing you can expect from Jack and
Misty is the unexpected - and this collection proves it!
Okay. Enough talk. Here's the tracklist:

1. Strange New World - Jacqueline Hyde and the Moonfolk 
2. The Lonely Sentry - Rusty Diamond, with guest star Maryanne Mail *
3. We Walked This Road Before - Brad Wolfe
4. Time Machine - Joel Mathis *      
5. Skellykins - Rusty Diamond 
6. Yellow Bellied Sap Sucker - Hank Malcolm      
7. Gemini - The Jack Blanchard Group 
8. Lonely Bell - Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan      
9. Mary Turn Around - Hank Malcolm 
10. Changin’ Times – Brad Wolfe 
11. I’m Hung Up On You – Rusty Diamond, the Country Nut 
12. Boy With The Be-Bop Glasses – The Dawn Breakers 
13. Hit Me One More Time – Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan * 
14. Let's Have A Hayride - Maryanne Mail 
15. Cadillac - Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan      
16. Little Orphan Annie - Joel Mathis 
17. Midnight Greyhound - Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan 
18. Here Today, Gone Tomorrow - Donel Austin *
19. New World - The Jack Blanchard Group 
20. Runaway - Jacqueline Hyde and the Moonfolk 
21. The King Of Hearts - Jackie Blanchard and The Rockin’ Impallas 
22. Journey’s End - Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan *      
23. Monkey See Monkey Do – Hank Malcolm      
24. The Love Habit - Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan *      
25. I'm Feelin’ A Change in My Life - Donel Austin * 
26. The Look Of Nothing - Tom Carlile * 
27. Somewhere In Virginia In The Rain (Disco Version) - 
    Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan *
28. Don’t It Look Like Georgia - Tom Carlile * 
29. Dance of the Living Dead Chickens - Jack Blanchard * 
30. A Weird Little Christmas - Jack Blanchard *
All titles mono except those marked * are stereo.

We'll have more info available as it comes in. For now... let the
celebration begin!

More later, YFNW™ Jerry.




February 9, 2008...
Hi folks, YFNW™ Jerry again, getting around to updating the best
website in the Western Hemisphere (okay, maybe that's a bit of an
exaggeration?). To commence, all of the old news from last year
has FINALLY been moved to the new "Old News 2007"
page (to which co-webmeister Lee says, "About time!"). Until I get
all the links worked out for that one, you can find it right here. Enjoy and reminisce.

More new news to come later...



February 8, 2008...
In 1973 we produced a very unusual recording session in Nashville.
The musicians were all double A session pickers,
and among the back-up singers were Janie Fricke and Sandy Posey.
The musicians were really inspired, as you will hear.

Donel Austin, the lead singer, was the front man with the Rockin’ Impallas, 
a band that had a nightly radio show from a busy Miami nightspot, the King of Hearts Club.
I played keyboard with them for a year or two, and we became lifelong friends.

The song was titled "I'M FEELING A CHANGE IN MY LIFE",
about changing our lives for the better,
and was written by a young friend named Skip Rogers.
He spent time at our house, and we tried to do what we could to help him in the music business. 
He never got to achieve his potential because he died in his mid-twenties. 
We heard that he was killed by a frying pan to the head, in a domestic argument. 
We all had fun recording this song, and we dedicate it to him.
Click here to listen: http://tinyurl.com/2w6dbb

I'm Feelin' A Change in My Life Artist: Donel Austin. (Skip Rogers)
Woodland Studios, Nashville/ MSK Records.
Lead guitars- Billy Sanford, Chip Young/ Steel guitar- Lloyd Green/ 
Piano- Hargus Robbins/ Harmonica- Charlie McCoy/ 
Rhythm guitar- Bobby Thompson/ Bass Henry Stzrelecki/ Drums- Larrie Londin/ 
Backup singers- The Leah Jane Singers/ Pub: NA. 
Produced & arranged by Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan.

 

January 23, 2008...

Hey there, everybody. Your Friendly Frozen Neighborhood Webmeister
Jerry here asking, "Global warming? What's THAT?!?"

In the meantime, Jack has a reminiscence about an early recording
session with him, Rusty Diamond, Marianne Mail (Who's SHE? [grin]),
Henry Cook and his pedal banjo... well, read it for yourselves here
at "The Lonely Sentry".

More news to follow...

B-R-R-R-R!!!

YFFNW™, Jerry.



January 14, 2008...

Hi again and a great big OOOPS!!! from your webmeister, folks! In
uploading Jack's recent column "Music Keeps Me Young", I forgot one
important detail. The column itself. That has now been corrected.
Thanks for the heads-up, Jack! (Oh well, you can't say I didn't try.)

Speaking of which... that's the name of the next J&M single - "You Can't
Say I Didn't Try", on Stardust International. We'll have audio and lyrics
on the front page in the next couple of days.

See you when I get my infusion of coffee-flavored coffee.
Jerry



January 12, 2008...

It's a little late, but Happy 2008 one and all from everyone here at
the birdnest. 12 days and we've already got a lot to catch up on, so
here goes...

The first-ever Jack and Misty CD, "Back In Harmony" is now back in the
webstore. Why pay upwards of $40 buckazoids or more on Amazon and eBay
when you can get it from us for $16.95, hmm? Makes sense to me.

Also, in new music news, there's the first Stardust single of the year
coming up shortly. We'll tell you more when we learn all the details.

And, finally, Chairman Jack lets fly with his first official column of
2008, "Music Keeps Me Young".
(I knew it had to be something...) 

Have a happy new year, everyone, and we'll see you later!
Best wishes, YFNW™, Jerry.

Now, if you're just getting in, here's some stuff you mighta missed from
last year...)



ANNUAL NEW YEARS THOUGHTS. 

Time clicks by...faster and faster, 
like a cheap watch. 

Misty and I make the same resolutions every year, 
and will do so until we actually live up to them.. 

*      *      * 

OUR RESOLUTIONS. 

Never stop for a cop who talks with a hand puppet. 
Try not to kill people who offer constructive criticism. 
Never approach a chicken with a crazy look. 
Never try to explain our career to a wino. 
Never yodel at a funeral. 
Never hit a chiropractor without a reason. 
Never wear helmets while skateboarding. 
Always wear helmets during sex. 
Never tango. 
Never carry a rose in our teeth. 
Never carry a rose in any body cavity. 
Never turn our turn signal off. 
Never take Viagra before a business meeting. 
Never buy a pacemaker from a guy in a pickup truck. 
Never glue sequins to a squirrel, except as evening wear. 
Always smile and wave to drivers who give us the finger. 
Always lie about our age, weight, and height. 
Never hate an elephant for having round feet. 
Never take the car in for a free inspection. 
Remember AAMCO stands for "All Automatics Must Come Out". 
Remember: Near death experiences often happen while at the ice Capades. 
Always refer to younger people as "Junior Citizens". 
Never have a hole in your pocket while it is being picked. 
Never yell "Freeze!" in a biker bar. 
Never wear a tutu in a biker bar. 
Never sing "Granada" to an imaginary herring. 
Never play hip-hop dance music for nudists. 
Never ask opinions of our work. 
Never reply to opinions of our work. 
Never try to explain who we are. 
Never book a gig that doesn't look like fun. 
Never play for ballroom dancing. 
Never go to bed mad. 
Never use an alarm clock. 
Never use a big word where a small word will do. 
Never buy an extended warranty. 
Always call people by their first names, 
especially if they refer to themselves as Mister. 
Always play the music we do best... 
our own. 

*     *     * 

LOOKING BACK. 

It was a year of contrasts... 
There were some laughs between the troubles. 
We made some new friends, and made up with some old ones. 
We mourn those who died, 
and celebrate those who were born 

Misty and I are still together, 
and we have a chance at 2008.

Jack Blanchard, Dec. 30, 2007.



CHRISTMAS PAST.



Nothing is over like Christmas.


Months of anticipation,
and then it's gone.
Try to hold on to it and it slides away like this morning's dream.


It's hard work up the spirit here in Florida,
but we give it a shot every year.
Misty decorates a tree, and puts Christmas stuff all over the place.
We listen to Christmas music with the air conditioning on
and with palm trees lurking in the front yard.


I get very sentimental about Christmas,
probably because I had real Christmasy holidays years ago,
with folks who are no longer with us,
and my childlike subconscious thinks it will happen again sometime.


I toss up futile prayers for snow here in the subtropics,
but this is the time of year when we just get a cheap imitation of early autumn.
A couple of trees around here have a touch of red,
and I go look at them.


Television doesn't help,
with reports of all night sales,
talking heads urging us to be good consumers,
stranded travelers sleeping in airports,
and carolers singing "Happy Honda Days".


The people who tell us that it's a pagan holiday,
just because it's near the winter solstice,
may not realize what an intrusion that is upon our enjoyment.
I think we can each bring our own spirituality and memories to the season,
and make it our personal non-pagan celebration.
It's in the spirit of the beholder.


Christmas Eve and Day at my sister Val's house
is a fleeting taste of "old Christmas" that saves the day,
with turkey, eggnog, and all the trimmings.


I think I'll write a letter to Santa,
and ask him for one more snowy Christmas in Buffalo,
where the night is silent, the homes are warm,
and the feeling is strong in the air.


Jack Blanchard, Dec. 27, 2007


     
Our good friend Gayle Noble of Koko's Universe

made this beautiful card for us,

so we're sharing it with our other friends.




Thank you, Gayle!

Love,

Jack & Misty




WHEN I WAS A DEPARTMENT STORE SANTA CLAUS.



Jack as Santa with nephew Wesley.

Misty was the photographer.

(The music business must have been a little slow that year.)










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