"Warning! Political Content!"
I try to avoid giving political opinions,
but I get tons of them through the email.
Most of them I disagree with. That's OK.
Some of them are so stupid and self-serving
that to hold back a response forms gas.
As of today, I've received 37,482 annoying political emails
without making a single peep in rebuttal..
Some are well-written...
Others are dumb jokes that are only funny to the sender and his Klan.
"Didja here the one about Hillary and St Peter?"
I always try to be sweet and lovable,
but there's a limit.
Do not panic or storm my house with torches and clubs,
while I try as gently as possible
to respond to these invasions of my serenity.
Hey, Charlie Daniels speaks out.
Today somebody wrote this:
America elected George W. Bush,
so we should just shut up and take the consequences.
Also,
that neither candidate in the last two presidential elections was "acceptable"...
that we were offered "the lesser of two evils".
(Or was that "weasels"?)
I would probably like George personally,
if we'd met when we were both drinking.
I even liked Richard Nixon after we met in a bar.
(That's true, folks.)
I was luke-warm about Kerry,
and I don't see Al Gore as unacceptable...
maybe a little long-winded, but a nice guy...and smart.
If the lesser evils hadn't lost in 2000 and 2004
the Earth might be a little bit saner now.
I know the world changes all the time,
but I didn't expect it to get so weird so soon.
Whether America actually elected GWB is still disputable.
He won the first time with less than the majority popular vote,
and with some fancy politics in Florida.
Then he declared a war.
No wartime president has ever failed to be re-elected.
His rating in the Harris Poll would be higher
if that were Katherine Harris.
(Note to the government:
If you are monitoring my emails,
I'm only kidding. Ha ha.)
Somebody else brought up Bill Clinton's "sexcapades",
as being worse than all the strange stuff going on now.
I'm not set up for such advanced logic.
It's exhausting.
Clinton and Monica are still a hot topic, I guess.
Oh, well. That's what keeps Entertainment Tonight popular.
I miss Bill.
He could have sex, smoke a cigar, and talk on the phone to a senator
at the same time...a multi-tasker.
To paraphrase Bill Maher,
"This is the guy with his thumb over the nuclear button.
I want him relaxed!"
I plan to vote against every Republican for the rest of my life...
unless I become wealthy.
In that case I'll vote against every Democrat.
Copyright © May 13, 2006 by Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved. Reprinted By Permission.
