"Quotations I Made Up"
The Agnostic's Dilemma:
"I have 100 reasons why there is no God,
so who's answering my prayers?"
A Traditional Country Artist's Question:
"My old records have back-up vocals.
Should I feel ashamed?"
Looking Back:
"I used to be strong as an ox
and twice as smart."
Relationships:
"Nobody is completely sane
when you get to know them."
Government:
"The only problem with democracy is this:
The majority is dumber than we think."
Possibilities:
"Anything is possible,
but not probable.
Give it a try anyway."
Boredom:
"Right now I'm going to sit here.
Then I plan to sit over there.
I've got it all worked out.
Hey! There's a documentary on PBS
about bus station cuisine in the 1930's!"
The Circle of Life:
"What goes around comes around
only if it happens to be the flu."
Relatives:
"No matter how it looks from the outside,
there is no such thing as one big happy family."
Encounters:
"Nobody is as good
or as bad
as you think they are.
They are probably worse."
The News and our Health:
"Nothing you can swallow is good for you.
Every newscast has a warning
about the dangers of some food or medicine.
This gives us stress.
Stress lowers our resistance,
and is the main cause of illness.
The Modern Hypochondriac:
"Right now I don't feel too bad.
I wonder what that means?
Should I ask my doctor?"
A Sign for the Gym:
"Won't a lot of exercise put mileage on my heart?"
Mother Teresa's Dilemma:
"Every good deed contains a bit of selfishness,
even if it's to save our own soul,
or to like ourselves,
so am I just being selfish by helping others?".
The Futility of Debate:
"Opinions are our most prized possessions
and we protect them from your logic."
My Condition:
"My brain is so packed with wisdom,
that just writing this
eases the pressure."
Copyright © October 10, 2005 by Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved.
Reprinted by permission.
