"Misty: The Unexpected Humorist
A lot of people make me laugh. Stephen Wright, Bob Newhart, Mark Twain,
Homer Simpson...The list is endless. But the one who makes me laugh most
often is my wife.
At first I thought it was just a tendency toward spoonerisms, when, years
ago, she read a roadside sign to me as :"Hot long foot dogs".
After a while I began to notice the little smile she had when saying one of
these things. She knows she's funny, but she doesn't care if people think
she's just mixed up. Mixed up like a fox! (That sounds like one of hers.)
Over the years I wrote most of them down for posterity. I wrote them on the
inside covers of legal pads. I now have hundreds of these old used
notebooks, which I plan to go through someday, just to look for her
sayings. But, in the meantime, here are a few I can remember:
"He's watching me like I'm a hawk."
"Bleeding like a stuffed pig".
"Let the guy without sin pass the first stone."
She once said to me: "You could charm the women right out of the trees."
When we saw a beautiful rainbow, she said: "There's somebody waiting at the
end of it just to **** us."
"Running around like a chicken with its hat off."
We were mixing down a recording session and she picked out a little flaw.
The engineer told her she could really hear well, she said; "Like a mink".
I'll publish them as I find them. Meanwhile, I can't wait to hear what she
says next.
Copyright © August 9, 2001 by Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved.
