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"How You Can Tell When I'm Happy"

How can you tell when I'm happy? 
The air conditioning is working 
and the monkeys are not after me. 
(Just kidding about the monkeys. 
They went away when I quit drinking.). 

I was raised in a cold climate 
and I'm stranded here in this tropical swampland. 

We have another home now, 
since last years storms blew the old one across the state line. 
The air conditioning actually works here, 
and that's the best part of Florida living. 

The hurricanes are lining up across the Atlantic 
for their annual target practice, 
and I just ran across this article I wrote a year ago 
when we were still in our doomed ex-home. 


Our air conditioner is temperature challenged. 
Itís cool in the kitchen 
and hot as a mink back here in the studio. 
I have to take a shower every damn day. 

We called the repair gnome 
and heís coming here Wednesday. 
In the meantime, 
Misty put a big floor fan in the kitchen doorway 
to blow some cool air back here to me, 
hoping to prevent me from going naked 
in front of the dog. 

Everything is damp. 
My finger gets stuck to the exclamation point key!!!!!!!! 

I just felt a rare and beautiful gust of cold air. 
and asked Misty what happened. 
She told me she had opened the refrigerator door to get some milk. 
I thought Iíd died and gone to Poland! 

Itís eighty degrees and humid at 3 AM here in Central Florida, 
and the hurricane fright season is starting. 
Itís thirty degrees cool in Virginia City NV tonight. 

To my friends in Virginia City. 
Bite me! 

Copyright © July 15, 2005 by Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved.


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