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"How Men And Women Watch TV"

He: I hope this movie isn't a lavish Broadway musical. 
I'd rather watch milk sour. 

She: Better than those car chases. 

He: That guy's a hell of an actor. 

She: He's wearing a toupee. 

He: How do you know that? 

She: I can tell. 

He: You think everybody and his dog is wearing a hairpiece. 

She: Look at the lip job they did on Geena Davis. 

He: Aren't you interested in the story? 

She: Lips and boobs. Lips and boobs. Talent not required. 

He: Who's that guy? 

She. He reminds me of some old time actor. What was his name? 

He: He's got a gun! I think he's gonna kill that bank teller! 

She: Did his name start with a "B"? Or was it an "M"? 

He: Wow! He shot all of them, and he's getting away! 

She: Was it Marcus something? Or Morris? 

He: Please don't start going through the alphabet. 
There's a car chase coming up. 

She: Montgomery? No. That's not it. 

He: Mathew, Medford, Mildew, Moe, Munchausen...For God Sake! 

She: Murphy? 

He: Aaaargh! 

She: I like that song they’re playing in the background. 

He: Whoa! They're gonna hit that ambulance! 

She: That was a hit song. I wonder who's playing it? 

He: Randy Newman. He plays all the movie songs. 
Can we PLEASE watch the movie? 

She: (Silence). 

He: What are you doing? 

She: Looking at the paper. 

He: Your missing the best part! 

She: I see it. I'm just reading this one page. 

He: Oh, crap. A love scene. 

She: Why did you turn the sound off? 

He: I can't listen to all the heavy breathing. 

She: You'd listen if you were doing it. 

He: Well, that's the end of the picture. Did they go to jail? 
I wonder why I can never keep up with the plot? 

She: Wait. I want to read the closing credits. 

He: Why: 

She: To see when the picture was made. 
The hairstyles looked like 1987. 

He: What's the difference? They were all wearing toupees, 
lip jobs, and breast implants. Even the dog. 

She: I enjoyed that movie. 

He: What's on next? 

Copyright © October 23, 2005 by Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved. 


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