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"Weird Relatives"

Here are some unusual statements about my father, which may or may not be true:
    1. He had a mole on his nose that made him self conscious, so he had it tattooed
       to look like a fly.
    2. He wore special elevator shoes that made him appear three inches shorter.
    3. He talked to himself, but nobody knew it becaue he was a ventriloquist.
    4. He had his elbows pierced so he could wear cufflinks with a short sleeved shirt.
    5. He told me: "Bananas are a waste of time. Once you peel 'em and throw the bone away,
       there's nothing left to eat."
    6. He could jump three feet straight up, without bending his knees.
    7. I still have his watch. On his deathbed, he sold it to me.

Copyright  February 4, 2001 by Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved.

 

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