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"Too Sexy For Country Music"
This letter from a recording artist
infested my mailbox this morning...
Can you tell me what is wrong
with all these crooked charts and playlists?
My recordings are way better than everybody elseís
and yet they donít get any airplay.
I see crappy songs at the top of the charts all the time!
Is it politics or payola?
It canít be my fault
because my mother says Iím the greatest thing since Tiny Tim.
I am able to sing in one key
while the band plays in another.
How many of these alleged stars can do that
and cross their eyes at the same time?
I can play ďFlight of the BumblebeeĒ on the guitar with my tongue,
although Iíve learned not to do it with an electric guitar.
I do a lot of promotion.
I even call DJís up and threaten their families,
but it doesnít seem to help.
Iím getting ready to quit.
Iíve been struggling for almost a year now,
and I guess Iím just too sexy for Country Music.
Would you like to invest in my career?
Let me know soon because I have other offers.
* * *
Thank you for not sending a tape.
© August 16, 2003 Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved.