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"The Friendship Quiz"

My pal Mayf Nutter sent me a quiz
that is supposed to help friends get to know each other better.
That was his first mistake.
These, roughly, were my answers...

Q:  What time did you get up this morning?
A: Noon.

Q: Where are you from?
A: Buffalo NY.

Q: Diamonds or pearls?
A: Pearls before swine.

Q: What is your middle name?
A: Tillie.

Q: What food do you dislike?
A: I'm thinking.

Q: Your favorite sandwiches?
A: Whipped cream and balogna.

Q: What characteristics do you despise?
A: People who catch me lying and cheating.

Q: What's your favorite item of clothing?
A: Panty hose.

Q: If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation,
where would you GO?
A: Akron.

Q: What color is your bathroom?
A: Natural wood made of plastic.

Q: Where would you retire?
A: Forest Lawn.

Q: Who do you least expect to send this back to you?
A: Julia Roberts.

Q: Your favorite sport?
A: Gerbil fights.

Q: What did you want to be when you were little?
A: An Indian.

Q: Do you have any pets?
A: A vicious Chia Pet.

Hello, Mayf?
Are you still there?

Copyright  Jan. 12, 2005, Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission.

 

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