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"The Ferret In The Moon"
A friend asked me why there are so many "Moon" songs.
What is it about that dang moon?
Why does it hit our collective eye like a big pizza pie?
Why not a Moon Pie?
I tried to respond intelligently,
which isn't easy for me.
Here are a few moon thoughts.
The moon has been a thing of mystery, romance, and squirreliness
for so many centuries,
that a couple of our guys fooling around up there can't change that.
It's in our genetic memories,
and it's a little spooky
when Bela, our neighbor's bat, flies in front of it.
They have moons at night, just when we need the light.
I think not.
It rhymes with:
June, goon, spoon, maroon,
prune, saloon, balloon, croon,
buffoon, baboon, pantaloon, Loony-Toon,
macaroon, racoon, harpoon,
and Daniel Boone.
Some people see a man in it.
I see a ferret.
My Uncle Don told me that it was a hole in the sky.
He would admit that the Earth is round,
but maintained that it's hollow, and we're on the inside.
With early teaching like that,
how did you expect me to turn out?
He would eat only white food...
like sugar, flour, rice, and so on.
He said it's whiteness was an obvious sign of purity.
He was a food racist.
You think these are Uncle Don jokes, don't you?
Unfortunately, they're true.
Back to the moon...
They have New Moons and Blue Moons,
but I don't think I've ever seen them.
They should have a Moo Moon for cows in love.
Songwriters need the moon.
How would "Nothing Over Miami" sound?
Even though my intellect tells me
that the moon is just a hunk of white stuff,
that might fall on me,
I will continue to throw it in songs,
until they put me away.
Copyright © November 10, 2005, Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved.
Reprinted by permission.