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"The Cow Telephone"

This story is as true as it’s going to get. 

Our home used to be in the country, 
but the city with its malls, banks, gas stations, 
and chain store has swallowed up most of it. 
The worst trespassers are the HUGE car dealerships, 
that take up the space of the entire forest they bulldozed. 

We used to have cows, one pig, some chickens, and a mule 
right down here on the corner. 
Now it’s two miles to the nearest cow. 
And there are a couple of strange things about that cow field. 

There are just two or three cows standing around the field, 
which is pretty much their whole career. 
And there are always those small crane-like birds 
that follow cows around like fans. 
I don’t even want to think about their career. 

The first strange thing we noticed was the telephone. 
In the middle of the pasture, mounted on a post, 
is a regular Bellsouth pay phone, 
with the blue cowl and the Bellsouth logo on the side. 

It’s a nice perk, 
but even if they had spending money, 
who is a cow going to call? 
A lawyer? 

And if it rings, 
which cow answers? 
I wish I knew the phone number. 
I’d call from my cell phone and see who I get. 

We’ve never seen the cows pay any attention to the phone, 
but, of course, they know we’re watching. 

The last time we drove out that way 
there was a new addition to the strangeness... 
A sign that said this: 
“No Mooing”. 

Copyright © May 1, 2003 Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved. 


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