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"Life Is A Rental"

I think I started worrying about dying the moment I was born. 
That's what I was crying about, doctor. 

I try hard to look on the positive side of things, 
even though it goes against my nature. 
Life is terrific, but I'm not sure it's a gift. 
It's more like a loan, 
and I don't want to give it back. 
I've got things to do. 

Misty says "Life is a rental." 
That deserves some thought. 

I also object to giving up my friends and loved ones. 
All of us should be here together forever. 
It's comforting to think that we'll meet again in another life, 
but so far nobody I know has come back to verify that for me. 

I go seriously bonkers when I lose someone I care deeply about. 
When my father died, 
I kept seeing men who looked like him for several years. 
A car would be ahead of me in traffic, 
and I'd see the back of the driver's head. 
It was him! 
I'd hurry to catch up and it was just a stranger. 
Or was it, I wondered? 
Maybe it was my dad for the minute before I caught up. 
That's nuts, folks. 

My parents, grandparents, my sister, friends, 
all show up nightly in my dreams, 
just as naturally as though nothing had happened. 
I wonder if other people experience these things. 

When my son was killed, 
I went through an odd kind of mourning. 
I guess we all cope with grief in different ways, 
but my way was to go crazy for a few years. 
This malfunction attacked a place so deep in my consciousness, 
that I never saw it coming. 
A half dozen therapists and a variety of pills helped some, 
but time was the only cure. 
I'm probably as sane now as I'll ever get. 

I just received a letter from one of my closest friends 
who believes that grief is evil. 
He has a way of making me think. 
I believe grief may be the soul getting rid of a deep sadness... 
a bad tasting medicine. 
We talk about deep stuff. 

I'm not sure I'd want to always see the happy side of things. 
If I didn't have my inherent melancholy, 
I don't think I could be a writer. 
And I need my silly streak to offset it. 
"Laughter is the best medicine", 
according to Readers' Digest. 

Humor is my weapon of choice 
against the bad guys in the world, 
and the bad things that happen in life. 
Sometimes it works. 
It always helps. 

Taking slow walks, 
looking at nature, 
and feeling the breezes and sounds of life. 
That helps even more.

Copyright  July 14, 2006 Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission.

 

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