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"I Am Not Mother Teresa"

I am not now, nor have I ever been Mother Teresa. 
Let's get that out of the way. 
Maybe just a semi-saint.

I've written almost a hundred stories, articles, essays, 
commentaries, and an occasional conniption, in the past few months. 
I didn't know I had so many opinions, 
and I didn't know how many people get mad at opinions 
that don't agree with their own!

Our research staff has discovered that 98% of my stuff is 
humorous, informative, or entertaining in some way. 
Or at least harmlessly dumb.

Then why all the angry mail? 
I think it's because I've never tried to kiss the mass butt. 
I think, too, that the 2% of the readers that disagree with me are the loudest. 
I'd like to invite them to my house to talk it over, 
if they can find out where I live.

These people post hate mail and obscene language 
on public message boards, whether provoked or not. 
Their enemies are mostly in their heads. 
(I once had a dog with psychosomatic fleas.) 
They dare us not to be Southern, or Northern, 
or Christian, conservative, rich, poor or born on a farm. 
They often challenge our Countrifiedness, 
and they are under the impression that everybody 
is going to agree with their ravings. 
When nobody does, it makes them worse.

Since I am a possible semi-saint, 
you can rely on all my future writings to be semi-nice. 
I shalt not rant.

I will think of my detractors as "misled".

Or maybe just nuts.

Copyright  April 10, 2001 by Jack Blanchard. All Rights Reserved.

 

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