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"Humbug!"

What? The holidays are over?! You're putting me on.

I just finished spending all my money, sending out the cards, 
and turning the tree so the bare spot doesn't show. 
I was just settling down for some real holiday relaxation, 
and you come on with that Happy New Year bit. Knock it off!

Only a couple of days ago it was Thanksgiving. 
Don't try to show me that trick calendar. 
Anyway, 2001 sounds funny. 
Years ought to have nineteens in them. 
Everybody knows that.

I've got this tree and this eggnog, 
and I wouldn't care if you and your gang burst in here 
saying it's the Fourth of July, I'm having MY Christmas. 
And I'll have my New Year's when I see fit.

There's one more box of tinsel to go on the tree here. 
When does "Scrooge" come on?

This is not the smartest time to start a millennium. 
Just go on without me.

Right now I'm having Christmas Eve, take it or leave it. 
And when it's over I'm just going to sit quietly and listen to the checks bounce.

Copyright  January 3, 2001 by Jack Blanchard.

 

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