How I Lost 31 Pounds In 17 Days
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Page 47 in a hanky-panky magazine
Overheated romance (continued from page 17)
Wrapped up in the story, fever high
When a mail-order advertisement caught my eye
It said, "How I Lost 31 Pounds In 17 Days!"

She had the smile of an angel and the body of a full-grown whale
She was wearing a bikini that would make the Queen Mary sail
She was eatin' a banana and drinking a beer
She had a look about her that was so sincere
She said, "How I Lost 31 Pounds In 17 Days!"

I sent a letter in desperation
Asked the editor for information
Told of my infatuation
And now she's mine

Now I got a home where the buffalo roams
Sleepin' on her back, she looks like the Capitol Dome
I never thought in my wildest dreams
I'd find my jolly queen giant in a magazine
Sayin' "How I Lost 31 Pounds In 17 Days!"
(Aw, pick it, Jumbo!)

Sent a letter in desperation
Asked the editor for information
Told of my infatuation
And now she's mine

Now I got a home where the buffalo roams
Sleepin' on her back, she looks like the Capitol Dome
I never thought in my wildest dreams
I'd find my jolly queen giant in a magazine
Sayin' "How I Lost 31 Pounds In 17 Days!"
"How I Lost 31 Pounds In 17 Days!"
"How I Lost 31 Pounds In 17 Days!"
(Repeat and fade)

Words and music by Jack Blanchard. Copyright  Jack Blanchard Songs (BMI).
All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission of the author.


Discology Singles: B side of You've Got Your Troubles, 1970 Wayside/Smash WS-45-015 Mercury 6052 037 (UK/Europe/Australia) Albums: JACK AND MISTY ARE CRAZY!!! (Velvet Saw VSCD 1101, 2001) LIFE AND DEATH (and almost everything else). (Omni OMNI-102, 2005 (Australia))

 

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